A Comedy of Errors
by MissJayne
Summary: Established JIBBS. "She'd never have thought she'd see either of those two arrested for anything, yet here she was, bailing both of them out. Things were just a little too crazy." Co-authored by MissJayne and crazy-prune. Lily!
1. Jailhouse Rock

_A/N1: (MissJayne) My first attempt at co-authoring a fic! And a Lily one as well! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I really should not be writing something like this in a public library... Thanks to my wonderful beta Kristen for betaing! And special thanks to Jess for coming up with this evil plot bunny. I couldn't resist!_

_A/N2: (crazy-prune) Hey guys, also my first attempt at co-authoring, I hope you do enjoy it, cos this is a plot bunny that I just couldn't let go of and I was so happy when MissJayne agreed to it; I know we had wonderful fun writing it. (Seriously she's telling the truth about a public library!!) Thank you to MissJayne for letting me get involved with this and I'd love to hear what you think._

_Erm... we promise this is established JIBBS. Trust us (although with all the plot twists and turns I like to throw at people, you might not want to trust me)._

A Comedy of Errors

Chapter One: Jailhouse Rock

Abby Scuito stared through the bars into the cell. The nice cop outside had given her a chair to sit on. She could hardly believe why she was here.

In front of her, Gibbs and Lily were busy sniping at each other. Her silver-haired fox was wearing an orange jumpsuit supplied by the cops, which looked very strange on him. Abby had never been able to imagine Gibbs being arrested for anything.

She would have placed money on it being impossible for Lily to be arrested. The CIA agent might have been Jenny's twin sister, but she was capable of talking herself out of just about any situation. Her outfit was even more odd: an incredibly short black mini skirt teamed with a very tight-fitting white shirt and a tie. The shirt was tied up in a knot, leaving her stomach on show. Her feet were encased in their usual impossibly high heels. She reminded the Goth of an errant schoolgirl. Her red hair had also been pulled back into a simple ponytail.

The final occupant of the cell was lounging on the bed at the back, staring happily at Lily's butt. He was dressed very casually, and Abby had not asked his name. She was too shocked.

"How is this _my_ fault?" Lily yelled at Gibbs. "I called you for a favor! If I wanted to be arrested, I would have shot that really annoying cop who always tries to bust me for speeding."

"You could shoot him any day of the week," Gibbs snarled. "This is completely and utterly _your_ fault."

"How?! And don't say 'because'."

"_Because_… You dragged me out of my nice warm bed! You woke me up at two in the morning!"

"I woke you up; big deal. I haven't had any sleep for the last two nights because I've been _working_."

"Oh, let me wipe away my tears at the thought of you not getting any sleep."

The other man in the cell decided to intervene. "Don't talk to her like that," he objected.

Gibbs rolled his eyes; Lily smiled at the other man. "Thank you," she smiled sweetly.

"Now is not the time for flirting," Gibbs warned.

"Got a name?" she practically purred.

"Rob" he told her.

"Nice." She stared at him for a moment longer. "Now back off."

Abby decided it was time to attempt to regain control of the situation. "Why exactly did you call me out here?" she asked. "I mean, it's all very embarrassing with you two being arrested, but I'm no good at breaking people out of a cell and I don't want to go to prison for the rest of my life, do they actually do that? Anyway, I'm too pretty to be in jail and I'd miss McGee and Tony and Ziva and Ducky and Bert and maybe even Palmer, and I almost forgot Jenny as well, I didn't really forget her Lily, but you were standing right in front of me and I got confused again and –"

"Breathe, Abs," Gibbs growled.

Stunned by his tone, although accepting it was probably because Lily was pushing him to breaking point, she took a few deep breaths. Meanwhile Lily and Gibbs glared at each other, each glare promising imminent death.

"Why don't you two kiss and make up?" Rob suggested.

Slowly, Lily and Gibbs turned around and glared at him. Abby suppressed a shudder; she never wanted to be glared at by two experts at the same time.

Rob cowered against the back wall. "Okay then," he muttered.

The two warring parties turned back to each other. "You have yet to give me a good reason why this is my fault," Lily argued.

"It's always your fault!" Gibbs retorted. "You're a hurricane of chaos, bringing trouble and pain in your wake."

"This is coming from a guy who builds boats in his basement, and if he ever messes up his relationship with my sister again is going to be is some serious pain." She lowered her voice and moved closer to him; their noses were almost touching. "I would _love_ to castrate you," she spat.

Gibbs flinched. Lily leant back, a smug smile on her face.

"You're dating her sister?" Rob repeated, a wide grin stretching his features. "Wow. You should all go on Jerry Springer or something."

This time, everyone turned and glared at Rob. Abby pulled her fiercest face. This guy seriously needed to keep out of the conversation. Rob merely put his hands up to defend himself, the grin never leaving.

"Why did you call me?" Abby tried again. "I mean, you could have called Ducky or Ziva or Jenny –"

"Take a wild stab at why we didn't ask for Jen," Gibbs groaned. "I'm not sure which one of us she'd kill first."

"That would be me," Lily helpfully added. "Followed shortly by you. You'd suffer a lot more though."

"Well, what about –" Abby started.

"Tony would never be able to wipe the smirk from his face," Lily interrupted. "Ziva would call Jenny before coming here, I am never having this conversation with McGee, and Ducky would ask far too many questions."

"What about someone at the CIA?" Abby fidgeted uncomfortably.

"I will never live it down," Lily complained. "If someone there _ever_ finds out…"

The Goth gulped. "My lips are sealed."

"Look, Abs," Gibbs soothed. "We just need you to post bail. That's all."

"I'm not doing that!" Abby protested, standing up. "You two should deal with this yourselves!"

"Abs, this is all just a misunderstanding," Gibbs offered. "A really big misunderstanding."

"Yeah right," Rob scoffed at the back.

Everyone ignored him. "We can explain everything," Lily promised.

"Why didn't you call Jenny then?" Abby shouted. "Mommy and Daddy shouldn't have any secrets, and Daddy shouldn't –"

"Mommy and Daddy?" Rob commented. "Even better."

They continued to ignore him. "Jenny would kill us before we could explain," Lily pointed out. "How about we tell you what happened and you can make up your own mind?"

Abby almost screamed her reply. "How did you two get arrested for indecent exposure?"


	2. The Root of the Problem

_Flashback time! How exactly did they manage to be arrested for indecent exposure?!_

Chapter 2: The Root of the Problem

Leroy Jethro Gibbs sighed as he parked his car. Why did Lily have to ruin his evening and call him out?

How could he forget? Because she found it funny.

He had been lying in bed, watching Jenny sleep, when his cell phone had come to life. Answering it rapidly to prevent it from waking Sleeping Beauty, he had not been happy to find out it was Lily.

She had called from a club, a place with loud pumping music that made it almost impossible to hear her voice, and ordered him to collect her. She insisted that she wasn't drunk, but someone had stolen her car and she was not in the mood to steal another car to get home. When he asked her if she could call for a cab instead, she had argued that she was doing just that.

Knowing better than to argue with her, he had quickly dressed and set off, although he had chosen to stop at a 24 hour coffee shop before reaching his final destination. He needed caffeine to get through this encounter.

He sighed again as he stared out the windshield. Where was Lily? He could understand how her car had been stolen; this was a particularly rough part of town, and he felt a surge of smugness that she had deigned to call him to pick her up. Evidently, she felt he would protect her.

He stepped out of the car and into the cool night air. Stretching his legs was always a good option. He kept his eyes focused on the nightclub's door, not wanting to miss her exit.

His jaw dropped. What was she wearing?!

* * *

The smirk never left her face as Lily danced her way along the sidewalk. The look he was giving her told her exactly how much he was enjoying this, which only made it more amusing. She knew he'd come and collect her – for the sake of not annoying or waking up Jenny, he'd do anything. Not that she hadn't threatened to ring Jenny's cell and wake her if he didn't.

"How are you not freezing to death?" he asked, continuing to stare at her.

"Undercover op," she replied, answering his other unspoken question first. "I thought the outfit was a nice touch."

"Do I even want to know?" he muttered.

She shrugged her shoulders, secretly delighted at his reaction. If only Jenny were here… "Give me your shirt," she demanded.

"What?!" He looked horrified at the thought.

She turned around and waved at the small group of people who were still standing by the club door, watching her. "My fan club," she explained. "I told them my gay best friend was picking me up, so at least _act_ like my friend. Hand over the damn shirt!"

The look on his face was priceless. It was a strange mixture of horror, disbelief, and the urge to walk over to her 'fan club' and point out that he was resolutely heterosexual and not her friend in the slightest. "Wouldn't 'brother' have done the job?" he complained.

"Certainly," she agreed, smirking again. "But that wouldn't be half as much fun."

He groaned, but acquiesced, swiftly undoing the buttons on his shirt and wrapping it around her. She surreptitiously snuggled into it. Although she would never admit it, she really was cold.

To finish off her act, she leant forward and hugged him. His body immediately tensed up – she had never hugged him before. Except the time she'd had an especially virulent strain of the flu and been determined to pass it on to him.

"You make a very good gay best friend," she hissed in his ear.

"You're just cold," he whispered. "Admit it."

She giggled and snuggled further into him. As long as he had no idea what she was doing…

She pulled away and walked round to the driver's side. It took him a moment to recover from the hug, and he patted his pockets.

"Keys," he ordered, heading after her. "Hand them over."

She had the door open before he could reach her, slipping silently behind the wheel and starting the engine. She caught the roll of his eyes, but he moved back round the car and settled into the passenger seat.

"Buckle up," she warned, smirking.

* * *

Gibbs winced as she managed to take another corner on two wheels. He knew Lily had taken advanced pursuit courses, but this was just plain dangerous. They were not being pursued and she was likely to kill either them or someone else soon.

She was doing this just to annoy him; the little smirk on her face gave it away. She stayed silent as she drove, trusting her instincts to guide her around in the darkness.

"I will hurt you if you damage my car," he warned, breaking the silence that had engulfed the car since Lily had taken the wheel.

"And what exactly would you do?" she replied, sounding very curious. "Anyway, when was the last time I damaged a car?"

"I don't know," he offered sarcastically. "Probably the last time you blew one up?"

Without taking her eyes off the road, she expertly snatched his coffee from the dashboard.

"Hey!" he immediately protested. No one was allowed to steal his coffee, with the occasional exception of Jenny.

This time she took her eyes off the road and sipped the drink. He was forced to lean over and pull hard on the steering wheel to prevent her from crashing into another vehicle. She slapped his hands away, but grudgingly tightened her grip on the wheel.

"Are you trying to kill us?" he demanded.

"I wouldn't mind killing you," she snapped, her eyes back on the road.

He reached out again in an attempt to retrieve his coffee cup, but she held on tight. "Hand it over," he ordered.

"I need it more than you," she countered.

"I paid for it; give it back."

"Finders keepers."

"I'll call Jenny."

"Oh, please, you won't wake her up."

"I'll call your boss."

"You don't even know his number."

"Just give it back," he yelled at her, his patience almost exhausted.

She smirked and took another sip.

Giving up, he stared out his window instead.

* * *

Why had she debated calling him?! This was getting better and better. Winding LJ up was one of her favorite pastimes, and she could do with a good laugh.

His eyes continued to stare out of the window, and she carefully timed her next plan. As she rounded the corner, she chucked the half-full coffee cup over him.

His resounding shriek was music to her ears.

"That was red hot," he screamed at her, gingerly patting his pants and trying to wipe the scalding liquid off him. Unfortunately, only a few flecks had managed to hit his bare torso, but she had been deliberately aiming for other areas and was extremely pleased by his reaction.

"You shouldn't drink boiling coffee then, should you?" she countered smoothly.

"You were the one who threw it!"

She merely shrugged her shoulders. "Took the corner a little too fast."

"What am I meant to do about the pants?!"

She sniggered. Keeping her composure was getting more and more difficult. "Take 'em off," she suggested through her laughter.

"You did this deliberately," he grumbled, unbuckling his seat belt so he could remove his pants.

"Did not," she answered.

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Well, you wanted it back, and you've got it; you should have asked nicely."

Without warning, a loud 'pop' sounded and the car swerved violently off the road. She fought to keep the car under a semblance of control, focusing fully on the road ahead of her and ignoring LJ completely. She was glad to note that the road was empty, meaning she couldn't kill anyone else.

Finally, the car came to a halt. She took several deep breaths to steady herself, forcing her panic down. Whatever had happened was not something she had planned.

* * *

Gibbs could not see how this could get any worse. The road they were on was deserted; no houses, no streetlamps, no nothing. He was sitting next to Lily while wearing nothing but his boxers, and his skin still tingled from the scalding coffee she had managed to get all over him.

He suspected one of the tires had blown out, probably caused by Lily's crazy driving.

"This is all your fault," he muttered.

"Yes, I'm capable of blowing out tires by psychokinesis," she sniped.

He reached up and turned on the overhead light. It was broken. He sighed heavily, before realizing that her breathing was still a little too fast. "Deep breaths," he soothed. It would be no good if she suffered a full-blown panic attack.

"I've been in crashes before," she retorted, but she seemed to calm down.

"How many of them were due to your driving skills?" he questioned.

She took a moment to gather herself, before shifting in her seat so that she faced him. "You're the gentleman," she told him. He couldn't see it, but knew she had a sly smile on her face. "You should change the tire."

"No," he refused. "I am wearing a pair of boxers, my socks and boots. There is no way I am leaving the car."

"I could always call Jenny to pick us up," she suggested. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind being dragged out of her warm bed to sort this out."

He groaned, knowing she was perfectly capable of carrying out her threat, even if Jenny would doubtless kill her sister afterwards. "I need the flashlight," he conceded. "And my shirt."

He heard the faint rustle of fabric as she removed his shirt, and the soft intake of breath as her cold skin hit the chilled air. He heard some more fumbling after a moment.

"Just give me the shirt," he ordered.

"I'm getting the flashlight," she replied.

"It's under the handbrake," he offered, reaching out to get it…

Their hands collided and he felt the flashlight drop to the floor. "Shi-"

"Where's it gone?" he queried, cutting off the long sequence of swear words that were sure to follow.

"Under your seat," she groaned.

He felt her hand snake its way past him, trying to reach for it. He slapped it away. "I can get it," he defended, attempting to get his hand down the side of his seat.

"Your hands are too big," she giggled, not needing any light to know what was happening. "You're not going to be able to reach it, and you might get your hand stuck. I don't mind the latter, but I'd like to get home before daybreak."

Reluctantly, he withdrew his hand and let her smaller one try again.

* * *

Lily continued to scrabble under the seat for the flashlight. This was not working. She couldn't even feel it. There was only one option left, and she had no problems in taking it…

Silently, she slipped out of her seat and onto LJ's lap. She felt him flinch at the initial contact, being unaware of what she was doing.

"Get off," he ordered.

She continued to straddle him and reached down again for the flashlight. She made sure her nose bumped into his as she replied. "Better angle."

"I don't care," he told her. "Get off my lap right now."

"Afraid you might like it?" she smirked. She could just about feel the flashlight; now she had to retrieve it.

This time he tried to physically move her. He hadn't counted on her wearing next to nothing and was clearly surprised when his fingers brushed up against her bare skin.

"Stop trying to push me off and sit still," she demanded.

"Let me get out and move the seat forward," he offered. "It would be easier."

"I've got it," she snapped, trying to roll it up the side of the handbrake. "Give me another thirty seconds."

He changed his grip so he was holding her by her hips. Evidently, it made him feel more comfortable, and she was not going to deny him a small measure of relief for a moment. Especially as she had every intention of going for the jugular when she had the flashlight in her hand…

Finally, she managed to get the flashlight out, although she managed to elbow him in the ribs at the same time.

"Ow," he hissed.

"Baby," she murmured.

"I am not a baby."

"Oh, but when Jenny calls you a baby you don't mind."

He tightened his grip on her hips in response, hard enough to bruise.

A sudden knocking on the window made them both jump. As a bright light was flashed inside, she cursed quietly that her outfit had led to her being unarmed. There weren't too many places to hide weapons on her, although she had a knife. Unfortunately, throwing a knife around in a confined space would be more likely to kill her or LJ than their new friend.

"Police," came a strange voice. "Open the window."

Even better. She hated almost every police officer, mainly because they had a nasty habit of getting in her way.

"Get lost," she yelled.

Although she couldn't see it, she knew LJ rolled his eyes before rolling down the window. "Everything's under control," he told the officer.

The more powerful flashlight was maneuvered to take in the whole scene. "Yeah," the officer noted. "Out the car, both of you. You're under arrest."

"We're NCIS agents," she argued. She would never live this down if she was arrested as herself, but no one could tell the difference between the sisters anyway. "My badge is –"

"Never heard of it," the officer interrupted.

She felt a deep fury rise within her. "You've _never _heard of it?" Everyone should have heard of the agency her sister ran so well!

"Get out," the officer repeated.

They managed to stumble out of the car. Lily could feel the officer taking in their appearances and knew this was going to end badly. Her clothes were incredibly skimpy, while LJ wore practically nothing.

The officer finally made his judgment. "You're both under arrest for indecent exposure."


	3. Aftermath

_Thanks for sticking with us! Hope you enjoy the final chapter! Please remember to review at the end..._

Chapter 3: Aftermath

Abby took in both Gibbs' and Lily's faces as they finished their tale. They seemed to be telling the truth, although there were a few other things that needed to be cleared up…

"Where's the shirt now?" she asked.

Gibbs glared at Lily. "She tried to kill someone with it," he growled.

"I might have attempted to strangle a police officer with LJ's shirt," Lily offered, a little sheepish. "In my defense, I _really _didn't want to be put in a cell."

"At least you don't have to wear this orange monstrosity," Gibbs complained, tugging at it.

Lily smirked again. "It suits you."

Gibbs shot her a glare that would have killed anyone else.

"Hey!" the redhead yelled suddenly, whirling around and almost bumping into their other cellmate. "Hands off my butt."

Gibbs moved between Lily and Rob. "You touch her again and you won't live to tell the tale," he warned.

"_Now_ your boyfriend sticks up for you?" Rob gloated in Lily's direction.

"Give me one good reason why I don't kill you this instant," Lily demanded of Gibbs.

"Jenny will kill you when she finds out," he immediately answered.

"How cute is this Jenny?" Rob wondered.

"I do not need your help," Lily glared at Gibbs. "I am perfectly capable of removing Rob's fingers one at a time and stuffing them down his throat."

Both Abby and Rob winced.

"You wouldn't," Rob grimaced.

"She would," Gibbs confirmed.

"I might not even stick them down your throat," Lily continued, turning her glare to Rob. "I can think of other places where the sun don't shine."

Gibbs moved closer to the bars. "Abs, please just post bail. I'm going to commit murder if I'm stuck here much longer."

"What do I get out of this?" Abby smiled sweetly. What joyous rewards could she reap from this?

"I will buy you your own personal Caf-Pow machine," Lily promised, not taking her eyes away from Rob.

The Goth beamed and bounced up and down on the spot. "I'll post bail," she squealed. "Won't be long."

* * *

Jenny sighed as the elevator arrived at her chosen floor. Her day had not gone well.

She had woken up in an empty bed, and had immediately missed Jethro's warmth. His side of the bed had been freezing, indicating that he had been gone for a while. Unable to get back to sleep, she had attacked the mountains of paperwork in her study, wishing Lily would answer her cell phone so they could do it together.

It really helped to have a sister who could forge your signature.

She had failed to notice the time and had been forced to forfeit her morning shower in the race to leave without being late. An irritating video conference with SECNAV had followed, with him asking various thinly-disguised questions about who she was seeing. She had finally snapped that it was none of his business and had terminated the link.

Gibbs' team were not in the squad room when she had left MTAC, so she had settled down in her office with another pile of paperwork, a large cup of coffee, and a bottle of aspirin. Lily had remained out of contact, although Lily's boss had rung up to complain about her sister failing to hand in a report on time. Jenny was completely used to this and had brushed it off easily, promising to chase Lily up for it.

Lunch had been a subdued affair – a sandwich eaten at her desk due to a sudden influx of paper. Someone somewhere had decided to give her all the performance evaluations at once, and without Lily, she was left to deal with it alone. She took a small amount of solace in the thought of dropping half of it off at Lily's before she went home, and tackled the pile with renewed vigor.

Finally, growing tired of being unable to contact either Gibbs or Lily, she had made her way down to Abby's lab.

Loud, pounding music greeted her as she stepped off the elevator. Resisting the urge to shoot out the speakers, she entered the Goth's domain. "Abby," she called softly.

The younger woman whirled around, clearly surprised to see her. Surprised, and something else. Jenny couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Director, what brings you down here?" she asked. "I haven't got anything pertaining to any serious cases right now, not that they're not serious but nothing really serious to get you involved, unless I've screwed something up really badly and you've come to fire me, please don't fire me, whatever happened it wasn't my fault –"

"I'm not firing you," Jenny soothed.

"Oh."

"I was wondering if you've seen Jethro today."

"Gibbs is uh… out on a case," the Goth admitted, looking very nervous.

"Great, he's avoiding me," Jenny groaned.

She caught a glimpse of guilt on Abby's face and instantly knew something else was at work here.

"What do you know?" she questioned.

Abby squirmed uncomfortably. "You should really ask him," she cringed.

"I get it, Abby," Jenny offered. "It's not your place."

Abby continued to look very uncomfortable, so Jenny shifted her gaze to take in the rest of the lab. Everything was as it usually was, except for one very recent addition…

A Caf-Pow machine.

Abby had requested her beloved drinks machine on several separate occasions, so this puzzled Jenny.

"Where'd that come from, Abby?" she inquired.

"Umm…"

"Abby?" Something was definitely going on here.

Abby chose not to answer, but handed over a delivery form instead. Jenny let her gaze drift down to the signature and frowned.

"_I _signed for this?"

It took her a moment to realize what this meant.

"_Lil _signed for this?! Alright, what's going on Abby?"

Abby mimed zipping her mouth and throwing away the key. Sighing, Jenny moved over to the machine, which was situated by Major Mass Spec. She ran her fingers across it, confused. Why would Lily buy Abby a Caf-Pow machine?

The elevator dinged, and someone called to Abby.

"Hey Abs," Tony greeted the Goth, still out of sight. "You'll never guess what an old buddy just told me – the boss and the boss' boss got arrested for indecent exposure early this morning…" He froze as he caught sight of Jenny.

Jenny stared at the brand-new Caf-Pow machine for a moment longer, the pieces all falling into place.

Finally, she made up her mind. "I'm going to kill them," she growled.

THE END


End file.
